Your dash has been signed by Robert Downey Jr.
my headphones have reached that stage where you have to hold them off the empire state building at a 39.5 degree angle and chant an african prayer for both sides to work
And you can’t touch the cord at all or you’ll get strange static and demons will change all your radio presets to country and western stations.
(it’s okay, huntsman, he means that in a romantic way)
“So you expect me to roll over like a dog and let you slaughter me?” he growls threateningly, blue eyes snapping from the stranger’s face to their surroundings, attempting to see if there might be any way out of this.
The stranger laughs, though the sound is far from amused. Those frighteningly intense grey eyes flash, and the huntsman wonders if there is more at stake here than he first imagined.
The white horse moves closer, its rider still watching him with an unflinchingly severe expression. He glowers, trying his damnedest not to act like the cornered animal he’s beginning to feel like.
“My dear huntsman,” the man’s voice is gentler this time, almost calming. He doesn’t trust it. “I have no intention of killing you.”
“Oh? Then how exactly d’you propose to carve my heart out of my chest, then?” he snaps back, rising to his full height in order to keep as much distance between them as possible.
“I want your heart, huntsman,” the stranger repeats, leaning slightly over his horse’s neck. “I want it wholly and completely.”
He bares his teeth, confused and conflicted. “You think you can just toy with me like this? I’ve been given a mission and threatened with death if I don’t complete it. You think you can meddle in the Queen’s affairs with no worry of retribution or punishment?”
The stranger’s lips part, revealing impossibly straight white teeth bared in a hungry smirk. “Oh yes,” he replies. “I am quite beyond her jurisdiction.”
“Who are you?!” he shouts, nearing the end of his already frayed patience.
“You know who I am,” the stranger says, and for the briefest instant, the huntsman could swear that he saw a flash of green in the complicated depths of those eyes. “Brother.”
(Source: black-nata)
everyone stop what you’re doing
there’s a platypus on your dash
Reblogging because I don’t think I have ever seen a platypus walk before and…just…squeak.
fucking love these things
Venomous, duck-billed, egg laying, amphibious, mammals…
Welcome to Australia…Number one rule of Tumblr: you must always reblog a platypus when it appears on your dash.
DU BI DU BI DU BA DUM…
(Source: hermajestyschimera)
heaskedusalltodothemonkeydance:
Suddenly.
ACCURACY.
Quirky Turkey is me.
Hello Tumblr mascot…
True friendship is being able to hang out with someone without talking while you both do shit on your laptops
This is pretty much what every Skype conversation I get into becomes. I’m talking to YOU Djeki.
(Source: lazyocean)
A poem about Johnny Depp by Tim Burton
I love this
